What's Coming Next?

Albany Country Club
Please be courteous that we are guests here.

1st Tee time is 1:36
Details to follow ...

The Rules Committee of 2014:
Jim Lamar, John Traudt, Derek Paradise, Mike Burns (tiebreaker John Lawrence II)

Skin money collectors: George Scott and John Gadani

4-Majors Payouts and Challenges within the tournament:
  » $3,600 to start ($150x24), $150 trophy, $1,000 1st place overall, $600 2nd, $400 3rd, $250 4th, $100 5th
  » Each Major event winner $200 ($800)
  » Closest-to-Pin tournament winner $150
  » The Stableford Tournament Champ $150
  » 2-player team Match-play by tournamant bracket, Winners take all. (cost is $25 per person with payout as 0 per team)

For the story of it all - by John Lawrence
As the picture shows, victory is sweet and the cocktails that come with triumph taste even sweeter. Enhancing his resume (without his usual “BLUE” pill) with two Majors victories now, Mr. Filin has put himself in position to battle for that ultra-exclusive MAJORS title. His first Major win came 2 years ago at Schuyler Meadows and now with this second win he has done what only 6 others players have done, won multiple Majors. During my post victory interview with the Champ, he told that he knew the round was going to be special when he hit a hybrid into the 6th hole from over 200 yards and put it a couple of feet from the hole. He went on to make birdie in route to a 2 under front 9. He played very consistent on the back except the 18th hole which he carded a double bogey. Great round for this old dog and even better now, he is tied for the lead with my projected winner, Jimmy -Pan AM- Lamar, who carded a 3 over 74 to put himself right where he needs to be with 2 Majors remaining.

As the dog days of summer are upon us, it seems to me that the Old Dogs have their ears pinned back, nose to the ground and are leaving the young pups of the pack to scratch and sniff one others anus cavities. The top 5 Old Dogs in order start with, Jimmy “Greyhound” Lamar, Randy “Canaan” Filin, Mike “Dalmatian” Burns, Joe “The Junk Yard Dog” Tumonis, George “Chihuahua” Scott. These five all have a legit shot at the title. Only four young pups seem to be interested this year, John “Saint Bernard” Lawrence, Mike “Poodle” Lawson, Dan “Basset Hound” Savoca, and finally my favorite Scott “ plain old MUT” Malagrida. The rest of this dog shit crew can go to obedience training to find a golf game, forget about working on the one they might think they have………CRIST! The answer is NO Shufelt ….just cause you’re a dog now doesn’t mean you can go down on yourself, it’s still too small ……but Paradise says your big mouth on and off the course makes up for any inadequate measurements you might be dealing with below the belt. I’ll leave you with this, as Bob Barker says, Spay or Neuter your pets, if not you will have 20 more assholes like you fucks in the world that I have to be been punished to write about………..God I wish I could euthanize 99% of you!

Other Notables :

Randy Andres : 73 …let’s give him a hand, he finally showed up to play, to be honest I wasn’t sure if he was even alive in his 1st five events!

Dave Acker : NO SHOW NO CALL WTF ……………………………. Thank God he’s a nice guy

Mike Burns : 71 Looks good for 1st 2 events……can he maintain and keep that “Jack The Ripper” slice intact?

Craig Shufelt: Poor golf etiquette, “High” Scores, where has this 3 time individual Major winner gone? Paradise says he is “Out To Lunch”

3 weeks till Albany CC., That will go quicker than Traudt’s bonner(if he gets 1) on porno rental night. Get to bed early on july 18th because I heard you’re playing from the blues………which most of you will have when you post your pathetic scores…..can’t wait to see which gem I get to interview next!